Confessions of Stroke Victim

Time to dig deep and share somethings I don't feel comfortable discussing... until a friend wrote to me about all the recent slew of "Busy Bee" pictures (I'll post soon) that I've been sending out.

My childhood friend Angela wrote:

"Cooking class looks fun! I would like to try that. You know Jenn, if you left this world today, you would leave having lived a very full life. I don't think I know of anyone who does as much "stuff" as you. You love life and you spend every moment squeezing as much fun and as many different types of experiences into it as possible. I think that's wonderful. :-)

Ang"

I responded:

Thanks Ang. I don't think I told you... and very little people know that I suffered a few "transient schemetic attacks" (a.k.a. mini-strokes) just 3-4 years ago. I went on medical leave for a few months taking a battery of tests to find the cause, they had plenty of theories, allergic reaction to medication, work-related stress, depression, genetics, etc... but nothing conclusive.

When it happens, I lose all feeling and any control of the right side of my body. Sometimes it would send me into violent seizures. There is nothing in my life that I've experience that is more terrifying than those 2-3 minutes when you think... you're going to die.

The last time (knock on wood) it happened was in 2003 was while driving to a client in Washington DC. I started to feel nauseaus all of a sudden, I got vertigo, then my head just slumped back. It took sheer willpower to upright my head and pull my car over to the emergency lane only using the help of my left eye, hand and foot. I could not open my right eyelid for about 15 minutes.

This experience changes someone... at the core of their being.

I take no day for granted. I squander no days to boredom. I take no one for granted, not my family, friends or people I care for or love - even if those feelings are not returned. I don't care anymore. What I do care about is - like you said - if I died today, I can die knowing I did my best to live a full, giving and yes, most times, a boisterous and outlandish life!!

Jenny