Jenny vs. The New Jersey Turnpike

Jenny 0; Turnpike 1.

The medication the ER dispensed to me helped me sleep through my 5 hour flight to Newark. I just realized I've never been to this airport. That idea always seem to excite me. Hey, when you travel as much as I do, you have to get excited over something. As I looked out my window, I saw the New York cityscape off in the not-too-distant horizon. Wow, I didn't realize that how close Newark airport was to NYC. It made me happy to see her again.

After getting off the plane, I made my way throught the maze that is Newark. I think it's a close second to O'Hare as far as a nightmare. I got my luggage from Baggage claim and headed to car rental. My goodness!! the Air Train was slower than artic molasses. At the rental desk, I innocently asked if there were tolls on my way - he looked at me like I was from California. Oh well... when I finally got to my rental car, it hot, humid and I was so tired. Princeton, here I come!!

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I got past the first toll only to realize I was on the wrong side and missed the 95 S - i.e. Turnpike South. I was on Turnpike North with New York city closing in on my dashboard. Panicked? YES. People, I will NEVER EVER complain about Calfornia freeways again. This is madness... there are no exits and when you do take an "exit" it's a another freeway to a tunnel.

At the next toll booth, the attendant took my dollar and asked me how my day was going. I started to pour out my soul to the poor fellow. "I'm lost!! I don't know where I am and I need to get back to the 95 South." He smiles and said to follow the 3 to the Turnpike South. It was a squirly way back, but it worked.

So, after an 18 mile detour, I ended back at the airport and headed out to my hotel. Again, I missed one other Highway, but, after an hour and half I finally got to my hotel. I was still hurting, but now I was in a Heavenly Bed.

Jenny vs. The Massachusettes Turnpike

Jenny 0; Turpike 2.


I give up. I can't handle turnpikes: not here, not in New Jersey, not anywhere!! The first time I was on the 90 West (Mass. Turnpike) was at 1am in the morning. I got through my first two tolls OK, when I came up to the the third and final toll - the one structure standing between me and my hotel room - the attendant asked for my ticket.

"Ticket?? What ticket??"

She smiled and politely asked for $2.40 - twice the amount I would have paid if I had a toll ticket.

"Oh," I sighed. " Was that the one toll booth without a person back there?"

She smiles again, patiently waiting for my money.

This morning, after taking the first 8-hour (thanks to a delay) red-eye in a decade, I went to the wrong booth and got on another highway, I had to go through an extra toll booth (for a total of 4) before arriving to my client site.

Turnpikes, you bastards! YOU WIN.